Beth Vesa was having a bad day on April 7. That’s the only way she could describe it in retrospect. That day, while on the way to Lansing, Ill., for a game against Thornton-Fractional South, the Munster softball coach decided to call it quits, handing over the reins to junior varsity coach Mike Coil.

How could you blame her?

It was a little more than two weeks after her husband, Tim, died in his sleep from a sudden heart attack.

After a disappointing season as the girls basketball coach, Beth was looking forward to a promising softball season.

The team went 22-7 last year after barely surpassing the .500 mark the year before. The squad and its coach were ready to return to softball prominence and challenge for postseason success.

“Tim told me at the end of basketball season he couldn’t believe I wasn’t more excited about softball,” Beth said. “I was trying not to get too excited. This is the most talent we’ve had since I’ve been at Munster. We may not have the best five players, but I think we have the best 25 players.”

Then came March 21, the day her husband of almost seven years died.

Who could blame Beth for wanting to step away from the high school team for any period of time?

“I was surprised, but it’s very understandable,” Coil said. “Family has to come first. If I were, or anyone was, in that situation, I’d do the same thing.”

Losing her husband was not the main reason she stopped coaching a team she has grown very fond of from a professional and personal standpoint, however.

Tim and Beth adopted a 22-month-old girl named Kya last year. They officially brought Kya home from the state adoption agency in Indianapolis on the Fourth of July.

Their life with their daughter remained happy and uneventful for only three days. That’s when they were notified that the custody of Kya was being challenged.

Nine months later, it’s still not resolved. So Beth made the decision not to coach, based on what’s best for Kya.

“I want to spend as much time with her as possible,” said Beth, who still teaches at Munster High School. “I’m the type of person who has to be all or nothing. There has to be continuity.”

That statement, according to Beth, also refers to the girls on the softball team and Kya. She couldn’t have it both ways. So the only logical choice for any mother, especially one in her situation, was to choose Kya.

“You know she wants to be here with us,” senior starting pitcher Stephanie Andjelich said. “If everything worked out in a perfect world, she would still be coaching.”

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Adopting a child can be a stealth-like, anonymous process.

Along with filing an application, the prospective parents provide a portfolio about themselves — who they are, what their beliefs are, where they live, what their home is like — selling themselves.

In most cases, the birth mother chooses her child’s new parents from an extensive group of portfolios.

Traditionally, the adopting parents often did not know anything about the birth parents or why the child was put up for adoption. But adopting now is more lenient and open than before, according to the Center for Family Building, Inc., in Munster.

Nowadays the new parents can know who the birth parents are, and even keep in contact with each other, on occasion. So it’s not a complete surprise that Beth knows a little about Kya’s previous history, though more has been revealed in the custody battle.

According to what Beth has been told, Kya’s original mother had three children, two are a little older than Kya. Because of unknown circumstances, the mother had the two older children stay with one friend and Kya stay with another, both under terms of temporary guardianship.

The friends had a verbal agreement with the mother that she would take the children back at a later time.

Soon afterward, Kya got sick. It wasn’t serious, but bad enough that she needed medical care. But, for that to happen, the temporary guardianship had to become permanent.

Not only was permanent guardianship not given to the birth-mother’s friend, but temporary guardianship was rescinded. Therefore, Kya had to be put up for adoption.

The birth mother chose the Vesas’ portfolio, and they became Kya’s new parents on July 2, 2003.

Most of the time in adoptions, this would be the end of a long, confusing story. But, in Kya’s case, the birth-mother’s friend, who took care of Kya, filed a petition for custody.

The Vesas adopted Kya through Bethany Christian Services in Indianapolis, but the agency could not confirm any information about Kya’s case or history.

Now, Beth’s next court appearance will be on May 11 for a status hearing on the adoption case. A custody hearing could follow on May 27, though she hopes it doesn’t come to that.

“Every day she’s still with me is a better chance I get to keep her,” Beth said as Kya asked her mom to play with her. “I would love to be coaching still. It would probably be more beneficial. But I need to be with her.”

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The Munster Mustangs have been left in good hands.

Coil has previously coached most of the current crop of girls, at one time on the JV squad. So the transition has been smooth on the field. But emotionally, it will take a while to get used to not seeing Beth in the dugout.

“She’s as every bit a part of this team as I am,” Coil said. “The girls feel that way. I feel that way. She should feel that way. She’s in the back of these girls’ minds when they go out and play.”

Beth has not completely stepped away from the game. She still faxes the stats to the newspapers and helps Coil with some of the paperwork that goes with being the varsity skipper.

And with both teaching at the high school, Coil occasionally will ask for advice from the veteran coach.

“I talk to her on a daily basis about softball during lunch or our planning period,” he said. “Who to start at pitcher or about the lineup — hey, I look over at teams like Lake Central who have four or five coaches. I think I can ask for her advice since we don’t have extra coaches.”

Some of the Munster seniors have known Beth since their first day of freshman tryouts. But everyone on the team felt a closeness to Beth and felt some of her pain.

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Seeing any softball brings back memories of Tim since the name Vesa is synonymous with the sport in Northwest Indiana.

Besides the Munster program, the couple was involved with slow-pitch softball during the summer.

Tim was getting ready for his 20th year as the head of the Ross Township Adult Softball leagues at Hidden Lake Park in Merrillville.

In addition to his league duties, Tim also was special events coordinator for Ross Township. He organized the annual Easter egg hunt and Halloween party for the kids, and was involved in other youth and church activities through the years.

“It was a real blow to me personally,” said John Rooda, the Ross Township trustee since 1983. “He was the driving force with everything, not only in softball.”

Coincidentally, Easter was the first holiday without Tim, and it was difficult for Beth. But Kya and Beth’s beliefs help ease the pain of his absence.

“It’s hard since we weren’t just husband and wife. We were pretty much best friends,” she said. “Easter was tough, but what am I going to do ... come home and sit in bed and cry?

“I have a very strong faith and so did Tim. I know he’s in heaven and that makes it a little easier for me.”

In the end, Beth’s decision came down to the needs of one child and her mother outweighing the needs of a softball team and its coach.

Steve T. Gorches can be reached at 648-3141 or e-mail at sgorches@post-trib.com.